29 things in 29 years!!!!!!

Dolly Diaries #13

I turned 29 on October 7th, and I SIMPLY cannot believe I am entering the last years of my 20s. I thought I’d be shackled up, knocked up, own a house, have a long-term partner and be settled down by now. INSTEAD, I’m single, living in London, kid-free, renting, earning tuppence, and have just been crowned the “twink shepherd.” Who’s the real winner?

This was my second birthday living overseas. Last year, I was running a muck in NYC with two of my oldest friends, Floyd and Emily. This year, I was in London with my housemates, Madge, James and Darcy and my bestie, Tara. It consisted of drinking red wine, playing Jenga, using my new neck and back massager and eating one of my favourite cuisines: Italian!

Sadly, for an attention-seeking diva like myself, my birthday fell on a weekday, which isn’t ideal. So I did what anyone would do: book the scattiest Karaoke room for myself, the girls and the gays. By the end of the night, I was well and truly dribbling, BUT I had fun, so sue me.

NOW I never thought I’d be one of those people, but after doom scrolling till midnight last night, I saw an Instagram post of someone sharing the things they’ve learnt on their birthday. So I did what we all do, copied and pasted the idea.

Lesssons learnt:

1. The gays are the best people on this goddam earth

2. Moving to a random country town in Australia will be the best thing you can do

3. Go home sis (nothing good happens after 3am)

4. Money does come back

5. Balayage hair was never and will never be a good idea

6. You’ll never regret an Irish exit

7. Go on that trip with your parents

8. Never trust a Swifty

9. Win the morning, win the week

10. It’s OK to be selfish

11. Vapes are literally lolly pops, don’t bother

12. Cold emails/calls work

13. You’ll never be a hobbies girlie

14. Friends can be for a reason, a season or a lifetime

15. Wear your retainer

16. You don’t always need to share your opinion

17. Misogyny is still rife

18. Burnout is real

19. You should probably learn another language

20. Toxic workplaces exist

21. Karens get more

22. At least I’m not fucking boring (I hope)

23. Ghosting is not okay

24. Kissing is more intimate than sex

25. Everyone can cook

26. It’s OK to be the personality hire

27. All men want the “girl next door”

28. Beeping the car horn is always OK

29. Lean the fuck in

Dolly x